Parent Hacks

Can blogs rebuild America?

in: Featured, Writing & Social Media

To my old-school blogging colleagues: this is a stream of consciousness, written as I’m thinking about it. So take it as you will.

Back in the early 2000s, we started blogs, and started talking to each other, and became friends. REAL friends. We had no idea our individual, independent contributions would link up to create a movement that revolutionized media, marketing, and the national conversation (in my case, about parenting, but on other topics, too). [Shoutout to all the conference/summit organizers who created the in-person space to cement these friendships.]

Remember what the media landscape was like back then? Traditional publishing and media was closed to most, so very few people had access to an audience. We were part of changing that. It wasn’t “influence” or “personal branding” back then, it began as community.

Friends, our voices and the gathering spaces they created changed our world. I think we’re in a moment when we can do that again.

I’m not talking about all of us launching political blogs. I’m talking about reigniting our independent spaces once again. Turning up the volume on our individual voices and real-life stories, sharing our values…creating an alternative to the mass media (now social media) messages and memes that keep floating to the top.

You know how Humans of New York is this tapestry of different peoples’ stories that somehow shines a light on what connects us? Our blogs could once again be that, writ large, distributed across geographical, political, racial, religious, ethnic and gender lines. No silos, no algorithms. Just real people sharing real stories so other people can read and comment and feel a part of those stories and be reminded about what connects us. Incubating community without a specific agenda beyond sharing of ourselves and connecting people.

We could use the years-long network of trust we’ve built with each other to amplify those conversations. I’m talking old-school blogrolls and comments again, not for building influence or traffic, but for re-energizing community. Between us as friends and colleagues. Between us and our readers. We all miss that, but there’s nothing stopping us from doing that again. The currency wouldn’t be dollars or page views or virality. It would be the connections between us, once again. Not going back — this isn’t nostalgia. I’m suggesting the 2018 version of blogging and *real* online community.

I don’t think it’s unrealistic to say that if we did this, with the influence we have now, it could light a spark that could eventually make a difference in the state of our country. Idealistic? Yes. Naive? I don’t think so. Actually, I don’t care. America is fractured, and I’m willing to throw ideas at the wall for fixing it. Let’s bring an experimental mindset to this. Ask ourselves, what if? No one would have believed what our blogs would grow into had they told us then. Look at us now.

The connections between us are already built, and they’re powerful. We can use them to rebuild this country. I’m serious.

I’m better at ideas than implementation, so I have no plans beyond starting this conversation (and re-starting my blog). Let this get us thinking and talking to each other and hopefully acting.

This blog is archived. Visit me at ashadornfest.com.

Most recent posts

Comments

  1. I love everything about this. I’ve been thinking about more intentional returning to blogging lately, and this is EXACTLY the impetus (sign?) I needed to push me in that direction. Thanks for the nudge (push?) friend. I’m in.

    • Your blog is a model for this…the community around your blog, in the comments…it is vital, and has moved with you as you’ve explored new directions. I have learned so much from watching your experiments .

  4. some of my dearest friends are definitely old school bloggers and i resisted joining that world since it freaked me out that folks would have friends they may not recognize if they shared the same sidewalk, blah blah judgy blah, and now i get it, and now it’s desperate, and now dear asha, do i ever think you’re on to something.
    we need our micro stories more than ever. we need to stay deep in our humanity and have something to cling to as these waves of hate feel stronger. thank you for this spark. i don’t have the experience of blogging but i sure do have experiences to share, and hear, and learn from. also i truly trust you. xo

  5. I would be interested in blogging again, but I’m worried about the tech aspect. I had to learn a lot–Blogger and html markups–and that wasn’t my favorite part. I’ve been thinking for a while that it would be nice to contribute occasionally to a group blog. I’d like to share when something is worth sharing, and skip posts on days that aren’t.

    • I’m thinking we all just do what works for us. No specific “you have to” or “you should” beyond just participate honestly.

  7. Interesting idea, Asha.

    I felt like blogging died through monetization. When people became focused not only on writing, but also on pitching brands, negotiating edits with brands, promoting branded posts across numerous social networks, etc., they didn’t have time to read and comment anymore.

    I don’t think my writing was better in 2009 than it is now, but the community and engagement was definitely higher.

    I remember one November, instead of doing #NaBloPoMo, I committed to commenting on a certain number of blogs each day (3 or 5 maybe) and then once a week (I think), I shared an excerpt from a couple of those blog posts on my blog along with some of my own thoughts on the issue.

    I’m not feeling particularly motivated to write about anything right now. But I think committing to reading and commenting and possibly sharing is something I could do again.

  8. Asha, this is just the encouragement I needed. Ive been feeling it heavy on my heart and mind to spill more of what I’m feeling and thinking onto the internet again. I have felt so guarded and scared the last two years. I’m in, friend. Thank you.

  9. I started blogging in 2008. I miss the community. I miss the storytelling. I’ve been writing but not publishing. I’m not sure what it is that’s keeping me from hitting publish since last November, but I plan to figure it out (maybe with the help of a few committed others).

  10. I addressed this post to my old school blogging colleagues. But really, this is an invitation to everyone to start or restart their blogs. Every single one of us started with an audience of 0 and we just wrote for ourselves and each other. That’s what I’m suggesting again, that organic gathering of people and telling of stories. We found each other simply by talking to each other and linking to each other. Of course there is a place for social media in this ecosystem, but the metrics has to do with community in conversation, not numbers or dollars. We’d have to unlearn some current behaviors. We don’t need to worry about size or traffic. We just need to engage with each other’s stories. Commit some time and trust the community that is forming as a result.

  11. Early internet folks saw its potential as a great democratizing force. That potential is still there. We have the infrastructure for it already built in the connections we already have with each other and the influence we gained over the last 10 or 15 years. we could use all of that to reignite the space Not only as a place for conversation but as a place new voices would want to join.

  12. I made my blog password protected when I started working in state government because I worried that blogging exposed my personal beliefs and also that my stories as a mother were too connected to my children and that it was an invasion of their privacy. I do miss the platform being available to me, to be honest. Love and light to you, Asha. You can do whatever you set your mind to and I’ll be here to read about it.

  13. I really like this idea — and I think I like it even more if we could figure out a way to circumvent the traditional distribution channels we’ve let gigantic, greedy companies make for us and find new ways for us to create our own signal in the noise.

    First thought: could we use the fact that we’ve largely retreated to private spaces (see: FB Groups, Slack, etc.) as a way to create signal around new ideas? Amplifying ideas to the people that matter to us, and inviting dialogue? Could be like a semi-public group of democratically inclined pen pals.

    • That, to me, is where social media comes in. We could also start using our RSS feeds again + good old linking.

      • Blog for content and social media for invitation is something I’ve been mulling over for a couple of months. I’ve let my own blog wither recently partly because I’ve fallen into the bad habit of the quick and easy social media post. Thanks for the boost I needed to break my own bad habits.

  14. I just this morning posted again after quite a lapse. I believe this, I trust you, and I see so much potential in all of us—new to it, back to it, or never left it.

    Thank you for your love in all its forms.

  15. YES. Of course I am wondering about implementation (surprise to no one) and I wonder if some kind of private group or email chain could work because the reality is, there is so much noise that I need a direct pipeline to the good content.

  16. Oh, YES to this, Asha! I still believe so much in blogging. The reasons I started reading blogs in the first place, being curious about how others are living and finding community in ways I wasn’t in my in-person communities, are still as true as ever. Even though I don’t have a very big audience I still love writing new posts and have been so heartened to see that my readers do seem to continue to value my sharing. I have felt sad as daily/weekly blogs that I have loved have shifted over to Instagram posts only. There’s a depth and vulnerability lacking there and that’s what we need more of. I do think blogs are a platform for that.

  18. Been thinking about this for weeks, as I enter a new chapter of parenting – the college years. Wtf? Amirite? This was the push I needed. Thank you my friend for ever inspiring and reminding us that simple is often times best. What could be better than ALL of our stories?

  20. Asha, I have not met you IRL, but I am part of Go Mighty that Maggie and Laura started and OMG THIS IS MUSIC TO MY HEART!! Blogs changed my life. And they CAN change the world! I’d love to be part of this. I just saw a hashtag for #NaBloWriMo for November, instead of novels it’s BLOGS!!! I am re-starting mine.

  21. I love this idea, and I hope it kindles into being. For myself, I feel lacking in the authority (or hubris) of voice I had in those days. Almost everything I am moved to share online is prefaced by the thought, who really wants to hear about one more white woman’s suburban existence right now? I don’t know how to get past that, or even if I should try. I had my turn at the mic. Maybe the audience is where I belong right now.

    • Kyran, I definitely need to hear about one more white woman’s suburban existence. Like, what fantastic thing is suddenly no longer available at Trader Joe’s, and why would they do that?

  22. I miss this version of the internet so much. It was a wonderful place. I am all for bringing it back one bit at a time.

    • Totally! No need for a timeline or pressure or even guidelines beyond honesty, and using one’s words for good. One post at a time.

  23. Asha, something *like* this has been percolating around in my brain for a while now. Thank you for putting it into words! I’m in.

  24. This comment feed is giving me life! It’s exactly why I got into blogging in the first place. I think one of the biggest issues we’re facing is our lack of connection with each other. We do things online that we would never do in person. We only show our best versions of ourselves. Everything is curated or marketed to us. I am wondering how we go about fostering real connection and community using the same tools that make us feel so disconnected? So many thoughts about this.

    • SO many thoughts. More than I have time to write about now. But I’ll come back and share later.

  26. Asha, wonderful idea. I’m rotten at implementation, but we have an idea! I am unsure how this would look for in a blog for me. No longer anonymous. Lots of privacy issues. No longer jenandtonic or thejennui but jenniferbrockington.com !

    • Wow! Jen! Me too, I’m firing up Ashadornfest.com which currently just redirects here. you know what’s funny? How hard it still is to create a decent-looking blog if you’re not a designer. At least it is for me!

  27. From someone who’s never stopped blogging since 2003, I think blogs can do a lot toward bringing us back together. I can’t say I haven’t taken breaks from being sick etc, but for the most part I’ve been blogging since then. Of course, I’m all for the return of the blogging community!

  28. Well you know I’m half ops half creative so please use me if that’s helpful. I am FOREVER grateful to you and ALWAYS ready to ride. ❤️

  29. A note about hashtags and accessibility: in order for screenreader to read hashtags with multiple words properly, capitalize the first letter of each word like this, #NetPositiveBlog. It makes hashtags easier to read for everyone, including those with visual and other disabilities.

    • I use a screen reader and don’t have issues with hashtags in which ever way they’re displayed. Mostly because all screen readers have a way to navigate by characters built-in. It’s more like one of those slight inconveniences.

  30. I’m so glad you wrote this. I started blogging again in April, and it has felt great to reclaim a non-FB part of the web.

    It must be something in the air—a shared longing. Less than two weeks ago I wrote this on FB:

    “If you want to make the web a more robust, less FB-dependent place, there are some things you can do.

    “Start a blog. Write the things there that you would write as Facebook status updates. Create a non-FB digital presence. Share from there to FB so your friends know where to find you outside of FB’s walled garden.

    “Figure out how to use an RSS reader (I use and love Feedly). Fill it up with interesting topics and writers. Share from there to FB. Your friends will find it more interesting than alarming news from dubious sources.

    “Subscribe to reputable news media. Pay for good writing, writing that exists outside of FB. Don’t depend on your FB feed to supply you with news highlights. There’s too much going on; all of us need to pay attention and share what we notice in social spaces.

    “Facebook is what we make of it. The web is what we make of it. Technology is powerful, and we need to make the best use of all our power sources these days.”

  31. I started a new blog this year after about five years away. I never got into the monetization, and there was a point after my kids got to be a certain age that I didn’t know where to go with the blog that I had.

    In recent months though, I’ve really felt the urge to write again, for myself.

    I’m go glad this has come up. I was hoping against hope that I wasn’t the only one thinking this way.

    • Same here! My kids got to an age where it didn’t feel right to share about my kids’ lives. They deserve privacy. I remember a few years ago Rebecca Woolf wrote a post about how she wasn’t writing about her oldest anymore and I totally get it now.

  32. Thank you for this. So much. It feels like it’s all burning down around us and I’m craving authenticity and connection. I’m brushing off the blog and joining in…thank you!

  37. I’m planning on coming back in December so this is great timing for me. I blogged for about 7 or 8 years … left and I miss it terribly.

    thanks for this. (but I’m blogging at a new addy.)

  38. FRIENDS!! Leave it to me to issue this clarion call and then promptly sink beneath the waves of the midterm election. But that’s life, isn’t it? The beauty of blogging, something I miss so much and am hoping returns, is the distinction between a FEED and a never-ending, overwhelming stream. I started writing about it here: http://parenthacks.com/2018/11/what-feeds-us.html

    The energy I’m feeling from you all has ignited a million thoughts, abd I hope to write about a few of them. Just…thank you. Seeing all of you here, knowing this lit something up in you, too…it is the most grounding, gratifying thing ever.

  39. Thank you so much for writing this! I co-write a blog with my best friend who lives in another city. It’s a way for us to have something to work on together that binds us, and a place to build our writing portfolios, but as we’ve continued I’ve wondered if our blog is doing anyone else any good. You give me some hope. Here’s an oldie, but one of my faves. http://www.bustleandvim.com/single-post/2017/08/10/Notes-from-the-Universe-You-Dont-Suck

  40. I love this so much. Thank you. I have started and stopped so many blogs…I would stop initially because I was unsure of my voice. Then I would try again and stop because I wanted to share stores but it seemed the blogs getting traffic were solving a problem with a product or that it was all about monetizing. I love the idea of getting back to stories and connection.

  41. I love it!! I enter a blogging slump this time of year for no reason other than I get really busy but I think you’re right. I miss what blogging was the the enthusiastic voices. I agree with others that monetizing has ruined it for many.

    I’ve been dying to meet new voices and blogger friends but it seems lately everyone I do meet is just looking for internet fame and not much else. That’s what this has all become.

    I hope that my weird little voice in the universe can help make a difference, even if it’s to just a few. And I hope I can find some other weird little voices out there!

    http://www.joshs-universe.com

  42. This is a beautiful thing, your idea, and I believe it will foster that sense of belonging that is missing these days. There seems to be more space between individuals despite the tools we have to build community, and I don’t quite understand why. I’ve been blogging since 2007 – my subject matter has evolved, like my life has, and a daily commitment has become once or twice a week, but I am going to make a renewed effort to build better content no matter my frequency. Thank you for the challenge/kick in the pants/gentle invitaiton.

  45. *Comment copied from What I posted in Jenny Lawson, The Bloggess’ blog comments. Sorry for the repost, but I’m basically saying the same thing twice. I’m essentially making my life easier.*

    Holy moly this post seems to speak to me personally. I JUST started blogging again after a new name and a new brand and an approximate ten year hiatus as the blog formerly known as MOMMYHOOD: the blog. Before that I simply went by Kristina Says after a favorite song of mine and I’m happy with the direction things are going, although I often have so much to say and then forget or find myself in the bottom of an emotional hole without a shovel to get out. My posts aren’t as regular as I’d like, and I feel like my voice sounds forced rather than as smooth and natural as I used to be. It’s hard writing to such a small audience at first. You feel weird talking to no one in particular. But I made a pledge to start this year and a resolution to be more organized in 2019.

  46. Hi, kind of a cool idea! My blog is tiny & surprisingly old (to me!). I don’t update it nearly as often as I should. It’s nothing fancy or world-changing. Just a veterinary blog, about pets, rescues, the stuff vets stuff vets (or at least I, as a vet) struggle with. Hopefully it’s a little funny, a lot heartfelt. Cheers 🙂

  47. Oh my gosh! I am so glad Jenny threw this link at us today because YOU ARE MY PEOPLE! I was commenting on her post that I started blogging for the right reasons but then “Chevy Girl” and everyone throwing things at us to giveaway and pageviews and blech… I got all tangled up in it and then felt rejected when I wasn’t selected for things and then I got competitive and jealous and I felt bad about myself. So I drifted away. I just wanted connections. I got some great ones, and I feel so lucky about it.

    Count me in!

  48. I WANT to blog more; I am unhappy with social media and its shallowness. However, finding a new blogging space where there are a lot of people I know is hard; most of us abandoned LiveJournal when the Russian Revolution took over, and everyone scattered. I’m not a big fan of WordPress…so where are there GOOD blogspheres we can populate?

  51. First, a word about how I ended up here:

    I followed a link over at ArchitectDesign, which sent me over to TheBlogess, which blog I have been reading for a while, but I don’t recall ever commenting on it, but since Jenny had thoughtfully offered up a link with an intriguing name, which when I clicked her link, brought me over here, to ParentHacks.

    And actually, I already had a blog a while back, which started out as an off-shoot of a way-cool shop I used to run in Chicago, called SG Grand [Grand Avenue being the name of the street out front] which shop eventually shut its doors, at which time I gave up the blog, which I had named Simply-Grand.blogspot.com. That was in August, 2013. And, let me tell ya, five years is an eternity in blogland.

    And, actually, I feel a bit out-of-place here. I know that whoever runs ParentHacks says this is open to all genders, but the picture at the top of this particular post has a whole bunch of females getting all chummy, and z-e-r-o males, so I’m going to take her at her word, and say I’m in. Or, at least I would like to get that blog going again.

    I’ve had second thoughts about doing it, since my area of expertise is, well, … decorating & interior design, rather than parenting, but hey, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Right?

    Magnaverde.

    • Hey Bart! Asha here, and this is my blog. I’m so glad you dropped by. Those pics are of me and my blogging pals taken over the last 10 or so years. And while this blog happens to be about parenting (what I wrote about for many years, although not so much now), my hope is that everyone who used to blog, currently blogs, or is thinking about blogging takes this as a personal invitation.

  52. I love everything about this. I recently started blogging again, and I don’t know why I ever stopped… it’s cathartic, even if only 6 people read it (one of them being my mom!).

    From Canada, I’m in.

  54. I remember the feeling I got when I first started blogging back in 2010. The friends I made felt like my own little community. I’ve recently gotten back into blogging and have found that most of them have disappeared from the blogging world. It makes me feel almost homesick.

    • Homesick. Totally. You really can’t go home again, can you? But we can rekindle something and start something new. We’ve grown, the Internet has grown…it will feel odd, and there will be wistful moments I’m sure. Who knows where this will lead?

  55. Yes! This is a fantastic idea! And honestly, I’ve been trying to find the words to describe what I want to do with my own little blog that I’ve never really “started.” I like this, no I love this! Idealism doesn’t have to die out. Let’s bring it back!

  59. Adding my voice to the others here; your post and the responses are exactly what I needed. Ever since Open Salon shut down, I’ve felt adrift and miss the discipline of writing and the back and forth of comments. This is just the impetus I needed (found you at The Bloggess). So count me in; I’ve just joined Medium but haven’t posted yet.

  60. I’m all in. Have kept blogging all this time, but there are dry spells and it’s SO HARD when no one comments anymore. All in, let’s do this!!

  61. Oh my! Your timing is bang on. I really want to restart and feel overwhelmed. I lost my domain to a domain hoarder, lost all my recipes and photos because of me not planning on originally closing my blog. Seems like such a daunting task! Any suggestions?

  62. Asha, I love this! There is a reason I moved to Portland two years ago…to find a community of writers like yourself.

    Question: I’ve been blogging for over a year now on blogger.com (which links to google) and posting on FB and twitter. At first I had more readership and now it’s declined possibly because it’s not seen on FB feeds. I feel like I’m missing out on traffic unless I’m published on a larger platform like ScaryMommy. Do you have any suggestions for a blogging platform or visibility?

    I’m largely writing because I love it and want to make a positive impact, blogging and working on a memoir, but the process is lonely without readership. I’m learning and your insights are most appreciated!

  63. I’m in! Now it’s back to regular blogging, and finding out if anybody wants to join me. Best of all, I’m going to start looking for new bloggers to people my feed! Yay!

  65. I’ve loved the connection that comes from reading people’s stories. I have a handful that I follow regularly, where I used to have a dozen or more, and they’ve all stopped sharing their words. It’s sad.

    I, on the other hand, still share my worlds, even if it’s only for myself.

    http://www.trixiebangbang.com – no, it’s not a porn site, despite it’s attempts to trick you!

  66. I’ve been thinking about this lately, too. Personally, I quit blogging in 2016 because I was like “what’s the point of writing about stuff I like to write about when I should be writing about things that really matter?” And others write much better articles about things that matter, so I just quit.

  68. It’s so random and at the same time destiny that I stumbled across your post…..I’ve been blogging for close to a year and it’s just this week starting to really have an impact. I’ve gotten so much wonderful feedback these past few days about my recent post announcing my 10 year surgiversary (anniversary of my preventative double mastectomy) and it’s fueled my drive to write and connect more about relatable topics.

    I write about the funny side of being a mom of teens and my family and personal history of breast cancer. Happy writing and reading, everyone!

  69. I love this! I have recently been asking myself what role my little blog posts play in the grand scheme of things. I love to think they resonate with real people and contribute to this intangible but supportive community of readers and writers.

    My most recent project is a year-long mission to tell the truth every single day. You can read about my progress (or lack thereof) here: https://athetruth.com/.

  70. I’ve been writing a blog since the early 2000s too – and along the way somehow became the last of my circle – the last to keep posting – to keep emptying my head. It’s been interesting over the last few days to read that blogging may indeed be making a return. Crossing my fingers and toes.

  72. Hi, I tried to sign up for your updates, and when I clicked the button I got a 404 not found page.

  73. I just love this. The blogroll!! It’s depressing how much time and energy people (have to? want to? choose to?) spend on promoting instead of just connecting. The power of connection is so huge – so much more important than a number of subscribers. I feel like so much of this has to do with increased difficulty having content seen and heard without extensive promotion.

  74. I wasn’t involved in the earlier blogging world but you’ve made me wish I had been, or that it could somehow be recreated. Having said that, I haven’t a clue how to contribute to that change.

    • I believe we just need to start writing and finding each other + commenting again. We have to trust ourselves, and whatever pace this takes. We also have to change old habits (prioritizing interaction over traffic, remembering to check back in your comments…even I forgot about that! I’m too used to notifications!.) I’m going to write this out more fully in a manifesto of sorts. Fair warning: I’m on human time, not Internet time, so I’m not rushing anything.